Friday, April 15, 2022

Married Couples, Solo Sleeping

Is it a taboo, or a topic you don’t want to solo-sleep about, or did I stir up your feelings, inside out, upside down? Aha! Nope, neither we should sleep about it.  I admit, I am a solo sleeper, not slipper! Hahaha! Why, are like beating your chest now, or you are already in the same solo-sleepers gang of mine? Honestly, no one have to the right to Brew-Ha-Ha if we are married solo sleepers and don’t even waste your time explaining why. Having said that, I can’t help but wonder if solo sleeping is only amongst the older generation, who have been married for donkey years, or even younger couples, married for the years you can easily count with your toes?

In my case, solo sleeping was my choice. He in fact, was dead against, until the roof almost came crashing on my head. Apart from, he wouldn’t even get a new bed to replace the one almost shaking and dropping on the floor, in the room, across the master bedroom where I used to fake my sleep for the sake of marriage faking. Aside to whether our marriage is lovey-dovey or not, my marriage however has shown a clearer picture why I should solo sleep. Furthermore, it wasn’t a brain cracking choice, because for the longest time I have been a solo-traveler, obviously, I solo-sleep, unless of course, thrown in frills and trills. Hehehe! Guess what as well? I thought I am one of the rare married species who solo-sleep, but no, no, no. The wild cat is definitely out of the bag. Why do people like me, married, yet, we prefer to solo sleep?


Goodness Gracious! People can snore, they can. Normal snoring like the musical box music is tolerable, but those like hurricane, tornedo or Beethoven’s loud blasting? KO! As if you are sleeping in hammer house of horror. Mind you, people who snore hate it when you tell them, moreover, they feel we are picking on them. Not realizing, when sleep takes over them, they are automatically transformed as the “raw -raw roaring” creatures.

The shaker and mover in the bedroom. Something about men, correct me if I am wrong, they want to feel as if they are sleeping in Alaska? Even when rain is ripping the world apart, don’t you dare switch off the air-cond. In fact, the air-cond can be their best companion compared to the spouse. Air-cond, believe it or not, can actually be the game changer in marriage sleeping. Either you withstand or logic out, or you shiver to death until you wake up.    

Pillow, Blanket & Bed Love War

When the indirect love war of air-cond sparks, or is flaming high, pillow and blanket are the victims. They are ripped and pulled apart, until it depends, who give in or who give up. What about bed space? Survival of the toughest, akin let the marriage battle begin. Some people, mind you, they can sleep by spreading their hands and legs widest. Or, perhaps, the hidden agenda is, time for marriage night time revenge?  


Me-time is not about just being independent in not leaning on your spouse. It is also, mind you, about me-time bedtime for self-love, for from a distance marriage love, and for marriage recuperating. Me-time sleeping by the way don’t have to be permanent. It can be every now and then, as a breather, by giving the space for your spouse when they need it.    

Watching TV

Watching tv in the bedroom? I say nothing, I say none, it’s really up to you. Then again, imagine married to someone who loves to blast the tv, and even laughs loudest to the silliest jokes whilst at tv programs, or literally forcing you to watch together?   

Handphone Staring

Tell me about it. What else is new these days? As much as we know handphone staring is running down our health, also, gunning down marriages? Yet, being hooked on the handphone, I believe is not a pleasing bedroom entertainment for your spouse?   


Drifted Apart

Couples staying together for reasons only best known to them, even when marriage is already a rocker and shaker. Seriously, in such instances, you think sleeping together will do any justice, or will be like, sleeping with your enemy? Perhaps, solo-sleeping should be the option?   


No Sex

I reckon no sex is no excuse to solo-sleeping. But, if there’s no hugging, lovingness and being affectionate? Will sleeping together be justifiable? I don’t know, you have to decide for yourself. For some, it is perfectly “picture perfect marriage” fine to distance each other in the same bed, whereas, for others, I have a choice to my own bed.


Health Is Not Wealth

I know, it may seem cruelty to the highest degree to solo-sleep when health is not wealth for him or her. After all, it has been said - “In health and in sickness”.  Even so, what if spouse does not sleep the whole night, due to sickness restlessness, or constantly coughing, fidgety, so on and so forth? Will it be selfish to solo-sleep, or, for better or worse, I sleep by my spouse? Tough decision, right? Well, please remember, sleep is vital for all of us and if we don’t get our share of sleep, our health may end up in ruins. 

All said and done, it is not about sleeping together. It is actually what you do together or don’t do together in bed. Any other reasons I have missed out? For me, there’s something about growing older and preferring my own company in my own bed. Believe me, I just feel so good solo sleeping. I just love I the fact to getting into my room, hopping in bed, and feeling as though I am in the most wonderful sleeping paradise like a happy child. Even on the nights I can’t sleep, no problem. Roll from one end of the bed to the other, instead of like before, needling my man because I can’t sleep.     

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