Tuesday, April 25, 2017

My Fifties - I Call The Short And Long Shots!!

The five decades behind me has insanely kicked-in a powerful force towards my fifties. Call it a whole new level of maturity, I actually sort knew that my 50’s will definitely fine tune my outlook to life. Honestly, when I first turned 50, on one side I felt a sense of achievement, whereas on the other, health is still my concern till this day. Of course, the tiny achievements I worked my butt out for has built a stable foundation to a comfortable life, whereas to remain healthy is the birth right for literally everyone in their 50’s. As it is I sometimes feel as though a steam roller has crushed my bones to pieces (Menopause My Blood Story) should I also mention the on-going family matters (Nasi Minyak) as well as trying to live within my means which does eat up on my internal and external well-being (Malaysian Vegetarian Spaghetti)?

Suffice to say, as two more years went by, the revolution within me shined a bright light for calling the short and long shots. Obviously, the earth quake faults, the fumbles and also happy and sad tears of yesterdays were the teachers to hundreds of lessons. No regrets. Not at halt. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have soul searched for the few important mattering most certainties.   

Money is the ultimate master key in my 50’s. Yes, it absolutely is. To those of you who put love in front of anything else, you can fly kites. My life kite on the other will only take off with money. To believe, I suggest you remove your Bluetooth headset to listen or take a 360 degrees turn to notice the elderly who are struggling without money power. Indeed, love has vanished in thin air, family and friends have disappeared and welfare homes are not as user friendly as perceived. Hope in the hands of children is also fat hopes. Even funerals are the battle ground for who should pay. Of course tear drops will fall if you leave behind wealth, otherwise, it is sadly “Inky Pinky Ponky, Parents die, Inky Pinky Ponky”.

So, tell me please. How can I be wrong in saying that I must be self-sufficient to sustain the spiralling cost of living instead of hoping for money to fall from the sky? As I have already said, our current generation of highly educated and holding high position children can’t even manage their own finances and they won’t hesitate playing the smart on-line game for hustling money from us.
Start saving. Please. Start somewhere. Never is never too late. Safeguard your EPF for your old age, stop feeling sorry for others who will come up with sob stories to rip money apart from you and being money smart is definitely the steady uphill walk towards future years. Point blank said, 50’s without money is hell.  

Sincerely, I want to put love sincerely to the forefront. Unfortunately though, the power of money (Revlon Uniq Hair Treatment) has clearly overtaken it. Then again, in no particular random order, love is important for me. It is sort of akin popping health supplements for neutralising all my senses. Unlike some people I know who preach about being self-sufficient without the opposite sex due to love fallout experiences; I am not shy in admitting that belonging to someone is truly the source of love portion nutrients in sickness and health. Love in the 50’s is not about perfection too, but it is a warranty for growing old together with my other half-half even if we are already sexually expired.  

Keep searching for love (Oats Coated Fried Prawns) if you have not found one. Not easy I know to compete alongside young “pussy-cats” who are in demand, also, a stone thrown will simultaneously hit many foreign Gro’s and foreign workers who won’t mind going the extra mile for extracting money love juice at night spots, churches, shopping malls etc etc. However, god is never selfish to those who can lower their expectations instead of wanting a perfect man or woman. There are decent people who are also searching for love, nevertheless, searching for love in our 50’s is not about snatching other people’s spouses.    
I used to consider everyone as friends, but now, majority have been saved in my external KBI hard drive as acquaintances. My handful of true friends are those who are comfortable with eating in coffee shops, they won’t paint many illusive posters of their lifestyles for bashing up my confidence and friends forever are friends forever who accept my bullets of frankness. For me, honestly in friendship is an absolute clear path for standing side by side with friends, especially during heavy storms (Restaurant Kepong Heng Bak Kut Teh).    
Keep it lean and mean. Be mean by speaking your mind towards friends who use you, at the same time, stop leaning on friends because you don't want to be independent. Free-loaders, show-offs, back-stabbers and negative crystals must be thwarted instead of sulking and complaining on how unfair friendship is. Unless of course “hypocritical" theory" is your hidden 50's long gun.   

His and mine are packaged in my life. I can’t potentially detach family ties, neither are they the world nor will I die without the whole jing-bang. Nonetheless, I still believe in binding family "cord" values primarily for giving a helping hand so that family backbone won't fall apart (Khuntai Banting). 

All depends on you. It’s really subjective. I have spoken my mind, it is really your choice because family is a sensitive issue. Moreover, each family is not the same. There are the Flintstone family, the Adams family, the Kim Kardashian family, the Rajinikanth Kabbali family and the Tamil Serial Drama family. Suit yourself please. My advice is just a tiny one. Keep an eye on family big balls of fire that can leave you in a lurch when you in return need help.      

I am done with rubbing shoulders alongside status conscious friends. In fact, socialising by itself is almost just 10% in my 50’s. Family weddings, meaningful close friends’ functions and eating out to catch up with the few friends. However, going out with a group of female friends has already been red alerted highlighted. I can’t tolerate the bitching behind each other’s back and why should I be the one who always pick the bills? Socialising in my 50’s on the contrary is appreciating the one to one quiet moment in her or my house over a glass of wine. 
By all means, socialise if you must en-root out of an unhappy home, or for building business contacts or for boosting up your ego by being surrounded by known-unknown celebrities or high achievers. The ball is at your feet (Malaysian Coriander Spaghetti Poached Egg).

Fashion And Beauty
I still want to look good for my age. Even then, the motto is dressing sensibility for specific occasions and aging demurely, reputably and gracefully in fashion and beauty (Indian Fashion Trends For 50's Ladies). Showing my belly is definitely obscene, mini-skirts are out of the question though I still wear shorts at home and high end brands are not the top leaders. In fact, I buy t-shirts and shorts at morning markets for RM10.00 and I also shop literally anywhere. Anything regardless of price is my style. Beauty subsequently is not about painting my face to hide my truth self, rather a clear and clean skin is my lifelong investment.

Flaunt your assets if they are uplifted, tight and mighty, do flaunt in class instead trending behind cute macaroons and cupcakes. Exercising is still vital (Thai Red Prawn Curry) to keep everything lubricated but please do not overdo it with dieting in your 50’s. Eating sensibly is the rule and simple home cooked meals are definitely far more nutritious compared to paying a fortune at top notch restaurants.
Social Media
The excitement of passing my time on social media has fizzled off. Unlike 7 years ago when it was akin followers and likes shadow, I respect my own privacy now. Subsequently, I really don’t have to check-in, I have never professed my undying love for my other half-half to impress social media friends and I have cut down on awing at others because my real life is my priority.  

Stop falling for social media crab. Your friends are not necessarily having at all. There is thick line between reality and fake social media world. I know it is your right to unfriend garbage and rubbish, but stop threatening by posting every often that you are cleaning your friendship list. Nobody really cares. People are busy trending their own lives instead of paying attention to you. Frankly speaking, social media in our 50’s is depressing if we get carried away.
All in all, I call the short and long shots in my 50's. How about you? 


  1. Hi Nava, thanks for sharing this excellent posting and the important tips. It's very true, after 50's money is the master key.... the lovey dovey kind of love is not going to fill our stomach or take care of everything. We can't depend on friends,family or children to help, so best keep the money in our pocket. Eat moderately and stay healthy.

    Some friends are so fake and hypocrite instead of giving a helping hand, they add firewood behind our back. That's why I stay away from FB and no whasapp group chat too. Only keep it for important message and some close friends.

    Once upon a time I was so scared of turning 50's but I was wrong. Now already mid 50's, ok lah... I'm enjoying myself.

    Have a nice week ahead,regards.

  2. You look so much younger! Your kitchen is very tidy and clean :-))

  3. Nice post. I agree with all your points.

  4. 15 going on 50 Navneetham.
    Keep smiling

  5. Bullets of frankness it is!! Love it!

  6. Excellent post dear. Thanks for sharing

  7. You look bold and beautiful and that saree pic of yours ( I assume you were around 20-23) looks fab. Very well written and I love your writing style Nava. You are such an inspiration to many women and have proved that achievement is beyond age. I feel you should be addressing many women groups in India and am sure once they meet you they will change their outlook on life and at least try to imbibe 5 % of what you do. Keep inspiring dear.

  8. Very informative and must read post. As we grow old we know who our friends are.