The five decades behind me has insanely
kicked-in a powerful force towards my fifties. Call it a whole new level of
maturity, I actually sort knew that my 50’s will definitely fine tune my
outlook to life. Honestly, when I first turned 50, on one side I felt a sense
of achievement, whereas on the other, health is still my concern till this day. Of
course, the tiny achievements I worked my butt out for has built a stable
foundation to a comfortable life, whereas to remain healthy is the birth right
for literally everyone in their 50’s. As it is I sometimes feel as though a steam roller has crushed my bones to pieces (Menopause My Blood Story) should I also mention the on-going
family matters (Nasi Minyak) as well as trying to live within my means which does eat up on my
internal and external well-being (Malaysian Vegetarian Spaghetti)?
Suffice to say, as two more years went
by, the revolution within me shined a bright light for calling the short and long shots. Obviously, the earth quake faults, the fumbles and also happy and
sad tears of yesterdays were the teachers to hundreds of lessons. No regrets.
Not at halt. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have soul searched for the few important
mattering most certainties.
Money
Money is the ultimate master key in my
50’s. Yes, it absolutely is. To those of you who put love in front of anything
else, you can fly kites. My life kite on the other will only take off with
money. To believe, I suggest you remove your Bluetooth headset to listen or take
a 360 degrees turn to notice the elderly who are struggling without money
power. Indeed, love has vanished in thin air, family and friends have
disappeared and welfare homes are not as user friendly as perceived. Hope in the hands of children is also fat hopes.
Even funerals are the battle ground for who should pay. Of course tear drops
will fall if you leave behind wealth, otherwise, it is sadly “Inky Pinky Ponky,
Parents die, Inky Pinky Ponky”.
So, tell me please. How can I be wrong
in saying that I must be self-sufficient to sustain the spiralling cost of
living instead of hoping for money to fall from the sky? As I have already
said, our current generation of highly educated and holding high position children
can’t even manage their own finances and they won’t hesitate playing the smart on-line game for hustling money from us.
Tips
Start saving. Please. Start somewhere. Never
is never too late. Safeguard your EPF for your old age, stop feeling sorry for
others who will come up with sob stories to rip money apart from you and being money
smart is definitely the steady uphill walk towards future years. Point blank said,
50’s without money is hell.
Love
Sincerely, I want to put love sincerely
to the forefront. Unfortunately though, the power of money (Revlon Uniq Hair Treatment) has clearly overtaken
it. Then again, in no particular random order, love is important for me. It is
sort of akin popping health supplements for neutralising all my senses. Unlike
some people I know who preach about being self-sufficient without the opposite
sex due to love fallout experiences; I am not shy in admitting that belonging
to someone is truly the source of love portion nutrients in sickness and health.
Love in the 50’s is not about perfection too, but it is a warranty for growing
old together with my other half-half even if we are already sexually expired.
Tips
Keep searching for love (Oats Coated Fried Prawns) if you have not
found one. Not easy I know to compete alongside young “pussy-cats” who are
in demand, also, a stone thrown will simultaneously hit many foreign Gro’s and foreign workers who won’t mind going the extra
mile for extracting money love juice at night spots, churches, shopping malls
etc etc. However, god is never selfish to those who can lower their
expectations instead of wanting a perfect man or woman. There are decent people
who are also searching for love, nevertheless, searching for love in our 50’s
is not about snatching other people’s spouses.
Friends
I used to consider everyone as friends,
but now, majority have been saved in my external KBI hard drive as acquaintances. My handful
of true friends are those who are comfortable with eating in coffee shops, they
won’t paint many illusive posters of their lifestyles for bashing up my confidence
and friends forever are friends forever who accept my bullets of frankness. For me, honestly in
friendship is an absolute clear path for standing side by side with friends, especially during heavy storms (Restaurant Kepong Heng Bak Kut Teh).
Tips
Keep it lean and mean. Be mean by speaking
your mind towards friends who use you, at the same time, stop leaning on friends because
you don't want to be independent. Free-loaders, show-offs, back-stabbers and negative
crystals must be thwarted instead of sulking and complaining on how unfair
friendship is. Unless of course “hypocritical" theory" is your hidden 50's long gun.
Family
His and mine are packaged in my life. I
can’t potentially detach family ties, neither are they the world nor will I die
without the whole jing-bang. Nonetheless, I still believe in binding family "cord" values primarily for giving a helping hand so that family backbone won't fall apart (Khuntai Banting).
Tips
All depends on you. It’s really
subjective. I have spoken my mind, it is really your choice because family is a
sensitive issue. Moreover, each family is not the same. There are the Flintstone
family, the Adams family, the Kim Kardashian family, the Rajinikanth Kabbali
family and the Tamil Serial Drama family. Suit yourself please. My advice is just
a tiny one. Keep an eye on family big balls of fire that can leave you in a
lurch when you in return need help.
Socialising
I am done with rubbing shoulders alongside
status conscious friends. In fact, socialising by itself is almost just 10% in
my 50’s. Family weddings, meaningful close friends’ functions and eating out to
catch up with the few friends. However, going out with a group of female
friends has already been red alerted highlighted. I can’t tolerate the bitching behind each
other’s back and why should I be the one who always pick the bills? Socialising in my 50’s on the contrary is appreciating the
one to one quiet moment in her or my house over a glass of wine.
Tips
By all means, socialise if you must en-root out of an unhappy home, or for
building business contacts or for boosting up your ego by being surrounded by known-unknown
celebrities or high achievers. The ball is at your feet (Malaysian Coriander Spaghetti Poached Egg).
Fashion And Beauty
I still want to look good for my age.
Even then, the motto is dressing sensibility for specific occasions and aging demurely,
reputably and gracefully in fashion and beauty (Indian Fashion Trends For 50's Ladies). Showing my belly is
definitely obscene, mini-skirts are out of the question though I still wear
shorts at home and high end brands are not the top leaders. In fact, I buy
t-shirts and shorts at morning markets for RM10.00 and I also shop literally
anywhere. Anything regardless of price is my style. Beauty subsequently is not about
painting my face to hide my truth self, rather a clear and clean skin is my lifelong
investment.
Tips
Flaunt your assets if they are uplifted,
tight and mighty, do flaunt in class instead trending behind cute macaroons
and cupcakes. Exercising is still vital (Thai Red Prawn Curry) to keep everything lubricated but
please do not overdo it with dieting in your 50’s. Eating sensibly is the rule
and simple home cooked meals are definitely far more nutritious compared to
paying a fortune at top notch restaurants.
Social Media
The excitement of passing my time on
social media has fizzled off. Unlike 7 years ago when it was akin followers
and likes shadow, I respect my own privacy now. Subsequently, I really don’t have to check-in,
I have never professed my undying love for my other half-half to impress social
media friends and I have cut down on awing at others because my real life is my priority.
Tips
Stop falling for social media crab.
Your friends are not necessarily having at all. There is thick line between
reality and fake social media world. I know it is your right to unfriend garbage and
rubbish, but stop threatening by posting every often that you are cleaning your friendship list. Nobody really cares. People are busy trending their own lives instead of paying attention to you. Frankly speaking, social media in our 50’s is depressing if we get carried away.
All in all, I call the short and long shots in my 50's. How about you?
Hi Nava, thanks for sharing this excellent posting and the important tips. It's very true, after 50's money is the master key.... the lovey dovey kind of love is not going to fill our stomach or take care of everything. We can't depend on friends,family or children to help, so best keep the money in our pocket. Eat moderately and stay healthy.
ReplyDeleteSome friends are so fake and hypocrite instead of giving a helping hand, they add firewood behind our back. That's why I stay away from FB and no whasapp group chat too. Only keep it for important message and some close friends.
Once upon a time I was so scared of turning 50's but I was wrong. Now already mid 50's, ok lah... I'm enjoying myself.
Have a nice week ahead,regards.
Amelia
You look so much younger! Your kitchen is very tidy and clean :-))
ReplyDeleteNice post. I agree with all your points.
ReplyDelete15 going on 50 Navneetham.
ReplyDeleteKeep smiling
B
Bullets of frankness it is!! Love it!
ReplyDeleteExcellent post dear. Thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteYou look bold and beautiful and that saree pic of yours ( I assume you were around 20-23) looks fab. Very well written and I love your writing style Nava. You are such an inspiration to many women and have proved that achievement is beyond age. I feel you should be addressing many women groups in India and am sure once they meet you they will change their outlook on life and at least try to imbibe 5 % of what you do. Keep inspiring dear.
ReplyDeleteVery informative and must read post. As we grow old we know who our friends are.
ReplyDelete