Monday, April 17, 2017

Menopause - My Blood Story (Part 2)

I suppose, sincerely, “age sky” is the limit for us to learn from each other. Of course, I agree, age is wholesomely packaged alongside bountiful bouncing experiences and maturity, but that does not mean we know it all. I am still learning in my 50’s mind you. Recently after releasing my Part 1 “Menopause My Blood Story”, I learned that we women are together-forever for learning from each other on menopause and coming with it symptoms. Moreover, I have concluded that unlike our grandmas and mums who silently battled menopause, we, we must actually, we are definitely liberal enough on being out-rightly honest about menopause. We should ladies. Come of it. If we don't support each other, we can't openly speak about menopause and nothing should hold us back from discussing it on social media? If sweet lollipops are not shy in flaunting their up there and down there down, we shouldn't shun away from discussing pre-menopause or post-menopause? We shall right now. Yes, now and not tomorrow. Before anything else, let me thank all those women who messaged me to share their menopause experiences. Thank you again. Your sharing was a support for me in writing this Part 2. 
Initially, honestly, I was under the impression that any doctor is a good doctor for treating menopause. Actually, you know what? I wasn’t even 100 percentage sure what I was experiencing is due to I can’t make babies anymore. Logically, of course, I should have seen a gynecologist straightaway, but as I have already said, because I didn't know I was going through the effect of menopause, I opted for company panel clinic doctors. Oh, hell hack, The first sweetie-pie doctor I saw was more interested in flipping her hair constantly, while looking at me as if I was speaking in alien language. No action reaction as I continued telling her mainly on my battle with hot flushes and can't sleep. God! Such a raw naive doctor, akin a medical robot as well, she checked my pressure and big chest, of course I should be given tablets right? What a waste to swallowing company’s medical insurance and my time of swallowing those tablets.The next male doctor fared quite okay. He lengthily spoke on the reasons to early menopause which I really appreciated. But when he diverted to Malaysian politics and racial equality non stop, I knew it. “Ding-dong-bell". I again returned home with huge tablets I can’t recall if I took. The third doctor who most probably have gone through houseman-ship hardship was at least wise enough in advising me to see a gynecologist. Made sense. 
I did. At the medical centre just a distance from my place, I underwent a complete medical check-up prior to being certified as “fiddle-yankee-doodle-yanky” fit by the down to earth gynecologist. What a relief. Medical menopause heaven came calling. Doctor then confirmed it is the raging hormones, subsequently he clearly explained by putting sense into me - “You are not the worst case. By far menopause is coupled with psychological factors. I doubt I should suggest hormone tablets which does come with side effects. The best natural remedy is a balanced diet and exercising for physical and mental wellness. In any case, I will prescribe sleeping tablets, take only if you really need”. Worked miraculously. Despite I didn’t thunderously give a good run by dashing alongside Usain Bolt, I felt a whole better in strengthening my coping mechanisms as per doctor’s advice.   

Makes a difference. Doctors do. Either identify him or her based on recommendation, or after your first or subsequent rounds of consultation and please, say no to the “just blooming” doctors. Look, I have nothing against up and coming doctors, but they definitely are not there yet. Instead ensure that you are at the right hands of an experienced gynecologist who potentially carry big suitcases of experiences. I know what I am talking about. Expertise knowing is one thing, the other for gynecologists is being compassionate and understanding their patients. My gynecologist has it. Maybe that's why I bounce back slowly and surely and no matter what, I will stick to a male gynecologist. You may be comfortable with a female gynecologist. Fine. Its you and your choice. No once can decide for you?  
I doubt I hated my job. I just couldn’t wake up, I dragged the daily crawl, the clocking in on time, the clocking later in time and the culture of working during weekends from home, at work and at the standing for 8 hours education "not-fair" where none cared about your lunch break. Also, I was reporting to a new boss whose tongue wagged worse than the dog’s. An unpolished bitchy character who even called me stupid once, picked on me for the smallest mistakes and “bitchely” played the favoritism card. All of these, let me be honest, made it worst on my menopause. I couldn't take it anymore until I quit. I did.  Hopefully, god, I shouldn't be so mean, yet I must mention, when its her turn to menopause, she will learn it harder than what I have gone through. 

I don’t know what it is like with your job, nevertheless, I “may” or may not be wrong in saying that most top guns can impressively impress us by laying-out work life balance policies at town hall meetings. In actual fact, those sweet talks are weakly implemented in companies which squeeze every drop of your blood in the name of achieving “triple bottom line”. Profit obviously is the hidden sly bottom, whereas the other two “bottom” lines are again slyly hidden from auditors despite beautifully stated as organization’s core values and as colorful human resource spectrums. Come to think of it, have anyone ever voiced out their concern, even women who claim they have pierced through the glass ceiling in rank and position, on menopause support mechanisms? Sadly, women at top level dare not implement or even suggest human resource policies for their own kind on menopause. Unbelievable true.  

The only person who stood by me when I cried-sobbed, when I felt as though my head is gonna  explored and when I sweat-dripped day and night was my other half-half. I literally drove him up all the walls. I awoke him from snoring because of palpitation and he had to immediately fly back home from his business trip the moment I called to say I am helpless. Frankly speaking, his patience paid-off on me. All the respect in this world for this imperfect soul-mate of mine.  

That one love is akin a magical wand as a comfort zone. Be it your spouse, your mum or dad, your children, your bestie, your illegal husband or your keep. Obviously, we expect it from the closest person to us. For married women like me, it has to be our spouses. But, if your spouse don't know how to go about it, there are some ugly mean men who care less on what is happening to their wives I know, I bet, I'm sure, you can lean on someone else. Don't discount being nice to your neighbors. Your nearest safety net in case of menopause emergency.    

Are you kidding me? Are you seriously asking me? Seriously, I really don’t know what to say, I won't too share my bedtime stories despite knowing it can boost-up my popularity.
What clue? Which one? Tell me. I’m listening. Are you telling me sex is possible when women are struggling with tiredness, or while tossing and turning all night long or “wet dripping" because of hot flushes? Please! Common sense is the sense to hugging, holding and cuddling each other. But if sex is important for your men, maybe you should use  your symptoms as an alibi to lash him, her or it.  

Diet/Well Being
There are no hard and soft rules to diet and well-being. I still eat and drink what I like till this day. Essentially, everything is in moderation. I can’t give up sambal belacan, coffee and a glass of wine during weekends. I of course drain every drop of water into my system, the standard healthy practice across the board is to include more vegetables and fruits and I don't know if I should say mopping your kitchen is exercise, I do, mind you, exercise for 15 minutes daily.  
Be practical. It can’t be vegetables and fruits daily? It can be a scoop of ice-cream instead of gawking the whole tub. It can be a piece of fondant cake instead of squatting in front of the fridge to lick the whole, lock and barrel? Actually, you can eat whatever including Vietnamese roasted dog provided you exercise. Treadmill, walking, yoga or neighborhood free qiqong/taichi? Whatever said, remember one important thing. Love yourself more when menopause comes crawling. Be selfish. It can’t be family all the time. Take time for yourself please. Travel, chill at caf├ęs over a cup of freshly brewed coffee with or without friends, basically, make yourself happy. Utmostly important.  
Conclusively, menopause is a life long journey and not a destination. I can’t speak on behalf of others, for me, menopause relapse does “touch and go” or “hit and run” constantly or every now and then. I still burst out in hot flushes, I still struggle to sleep and body aches and head ache are unavoidable. More impotently, oopsie, more importantly, please practice good eating habits, exercise and surround yourself with practical positive people. 

Take care everyone. I love you too.      

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  1. Love you too Navneetham....u r fab AND DIFFERENT xxx B

  2. Love how you've opened up the topic on menopause. It's such an interesting read continuing from your part 1. I haven't had any symptoms yet so far, but I'm sure it's coming up anytime. Take care, dear! xoxo

  3. A lovely read! Appreciate all the details you've shared. I like what you said - menopause is a life long journey not a destination!

  4. I think you're handling it well all in all.

  5. Don't have any clue abt menopause.. dunno what my mother had to face she never shared anything bt its good u handled it well

  6. Good eating habits and workout is very important to lead a healthy life


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